End = New Beginning

A month has gone by. A few things happened, but as they say, with every new ending comes a new beginning. Done and Done.
Day by day we may think that nothing changes, but then you look back and see how far you've come, then you finally realize that everything you have done has actually taught you not one, but many things - made you stronger, wiser and even happier, because happiness means being able to look back and see how far you have come, to then be ready for what life has in store for you.

I used to think that when two people break up a relationship, and then give it another try, the probabilities of it working again are very slim. However, I do believe that people change, and learn, and grow; else everything we do in life would be in vain. So as I embark in what will be the biggest risk in my life, I am filled with hope and faith that it will be the most rewarding adventure that will last a lifetime. Cheers to love, life, happiness and the pursuit.

With Love,
-D

Is it really Society? or plain old Mother Nature?

I wonder if society truly dictates when and where should we live, eat, reproduce and even die. Or is it truly just human nature to go through these stages within certain timeframes. 

I used to tell myself that society is the one that dictates that we should get married in our 20's. And because we all like some sense of ownership of our own destiny, we can say "screw society." However, if we are supposed to have children by early 30's, (given that mother nature will charge more if we do it at a later age) then we have to rush into finding a partner earlier than that. And if we want to enjoy our marriage at least a couple of years, then we are saying that by 28-29 we should start getting married, and a year to plan the wedding, means that you should be engaged by 27, with at least a year into the relationship, means you have to start dating at 26. The latest. I turn 26 in three months. No pressure. Smile, I am sure I will be thinking differently tomorrow :)

-D

Hakuna Matata

Hakuna Matata - It means no worries. 

Today, 17 years later, I saw The Lion King, and as most Disney movies, there is always a message to it. 

As I watched the movie, the catchiest phrase that resonated was "Hakuna Matata: it means no worries, for the rest of your days. It's a problem-free philosophy." I remember it sounded appealing as an 8 year old, and even more now, at 25. 

So yes, as we move forward, the best is to leave the past behind, it makes the road easier to travel as we carry less baggage to drag along. But one thing I do believe you should pack in the road of life: all your lessons learned in the past. Forgive and forget, but bring your lessons learned. 

-db

New Yorkers, According to Me

New York is composed of million of nationalities that at one point migrated to the United Stated in search and hope of the American Dream. As time goes by, New Yorkers have made of NYC the city it is today. There are some misconceptions about new yorkers, the most prevalent is that they are somewhat unfriendly - or plain rude. 

After interacting with them for about a month, I have developed my self-concept of New Yorkers. Happy to share it:

I come from a land where there is a huge hispanic influence, and if you happen to have met any hispanic, you would know they are warm, friendly people. Who would most times offer a smile anywhere, any time. 

I first arrived at what would be my new office, in the middle of the Financial District. The commute to get to work was an experience itself, I tried to fit in by walking as fast as I could, and to an extent being carried away in what seemed to be a river of bankers and executives. 

I joined an elevator full of executives. Used to my upbringing, and the land of The Warm, I walk in and say "Good Morning." Blank Stares. Lesson No. 1: People do NOT greet in elevators, regardless of how many people there are, even if it is one other person and yourself, a new yorker (some argue this just happens in Corporate America) will not return your greeting. The same happened on a couple occasions as I entered several elevators, not just at my workplace but also residential areas - sorry to those who defend New Yorkers, but in no elevator do people greet. 

One thing I must say I love about New Yorkers, is the feeling of indifference towards anyone's thoughts. Which is highly reflected in their attire. I admired the women (and men) who dressed for themselves, with clothing pieces that I am sure were carefully selected but only to please themselves, as to most of the society it would seem tacky and careless.

People also perform all sorts of behavior on the streets. Many performers are incredibly talented, and entertain crowds along the parks on a daily basis, making a living out of it, and hoping one day they get discovered by that agent that will change their lives. Other performers very cleverly, build an audience and their expectations in a very skillful way, and even collect their tips before doing their great show- which, to my surprise, was not that great. Without a doubt, entertaining to the fullest and adding to the City's life. 

While performers work for a living, other praise for salvation - I lost count of how many people told me (and the world) that their God was the way to Salvation, and the Final Day was fast approaching - alarming, yet fictitious.

One day I was rushing to the subway and I held the door for an older lady. As I am holding it, I noticed she stops, and is not going through. I look down as I noticed a puddle - of yellow pee - growing, surrounding her feet. Really? I hesitated for a moment, was not sure if I should continue to hold the door or give her some privacy. In disbelief,  I continued to walk as I tried to make sense of the series of images in my head, and wondered how far can New Yorkers go. 

I grew accustomed to the performances, bums, preachers, but my last day was a farewell to top it off. I rode on my typical "Gate 51" bus, and the guy next to me, who was making incessantly annoying jokes, pulled his bag of powder and snorted it. While his woman had his hand on his personal area. I was too shocked to see his reaction to it. Fortunately, the next was my stop.  

New Yorkers are nice people, they won't proactively approach you, which explains the popularity of single's mixers and enrollment on match.com. However, when they are introduced, they may just be as normal and friendly as you and I, with a higher sense of confidence and spontaneity. At the end, you need that tough-ness, because when you make it there, you make it everywhere. 

-db

Forgiveness

“It is not the experience of today that drives us mad; it is remorse or bitterness for something which happened yesterday and the dread of what tomorrow may bring”

I think I knew that the reason why I was not so looking forward to my future was in part driven by a sense of bitterness that was dragging my feet and making my load heavier. However, as much as I tried to consciously forgive and forget, it seemed like my heart and emotions had a mind of their own.

Today was day I said it is Okay. I forgive you, now and for ever, and I free myself from living in darkness and misery. I am happy and I have nothing but good memories from you. I understand our paths will not be the same and I will gladly walk on my own. I look forward to discovering what life has for me, what God has in store, what the Universe has planned and the numerous tricks my mind will continue to play on me :)

I can now listen to songs, watch movies and drive through familiar paths without feeling that hate for you, regret, sadness and pain. Instead I will listen to your songs and remember you singing them, I will drive down the memory lane and think of beautiful times, and I will cuddle up, watch a movie and enjoy a good bag of pop corn, because Life is Good.

I leave and walk away with this quote: “Growth in wisdom may be exactly measured by decrease in bitterness”
I feel wiser already!

I love you, and wish the best for you,
-D

Back to Basics

The most fundamental and basic four layers of the pyramid contain what Maslow called "deficiency needs" or "d-needs": esteem , friendship and love, security, and physical needs. If these "deficiency needs" are not met, the body gives no physical indication but the individual feels anxious and tense.

This is the perfect explanation of what is going on through my head - At. This. Precise. Moment.

I do not think my basic needs are met, and by basic I mean job (which I do have one, just don't know whats next) and hence I have been at my worse performance at work. Ever. Personal security and financial security are somewhat linked to my job and the future that awaits for me there, a future I no longer look forward to and a job I have not been doing so well at, and despise every day a bit more. Then there is health and well-being: I can say I am overall a healthy person, but lately (due to stress) I have not been able to enjoy my health. To extent I am now going to a chiropractor for physical therapy.

I figured that if I cannot meet my "second level" in Maslow's hierarchy of needs, then no wonder why I cannot move on and have the third layer of human needs met, which are social and involve feelings of belongingness.

I will go back to basics, maybe after I have my shit together, then the pieces of the puzzle will follow.

I believe that the important thing is to try your best to understand what is going on and why are things not working out the way you'd like to, and then act upon that.

Today is Back to basics, day 3

-D

Is the rest really unwritten?

Do you read your horoscope on a daily basis? or how about going to visit these people that read the cards, or your palms, and can predict your future?

I wonder if the future is ever really "written". Some people call it coincidence and others call it destiny. Then how do we know wether or not we can change our future? and if our future is really written, then there is not some much need that we continuously try to influence it.

The reason why I wonder is because I find myself at a crossroads facing an important decision, and it is so hard to determine what the best option is - and it is at these times when I wish I could see through a crystal bowl what my future holds. However, whenever something does not go the way I planned, I tell myself that God has a plan, or that this is destiny or is happening for a reason.

I do believe that things happen for a reason, but how do we learn what the reason is/was? and how do we know that the "other" decision we could have taken, would have led us to a different series of events. I guess we just live content with the decision we make, no turning back. But how about before we make that decision, what happens then?

And then, to what extent can we influence our future? some will say that we write our own book, and every day is a new page, and we have to think positively for our goals to come true. That we need to follow that dream that leads our lives. But other times hear "You are supposed to become a Doctor, it's written."

And what happens when you don't know what your dream is? what happens to your book then?

I guess today I did not have 1000 things to tell you, but 1000 things to ask you.

-D