Law of Attraction

Think of a number. Keep it to yourself until the end, this is your number.

In the animal kingdom there is a theory, that male and females look for certain characteristics in their mate for that specific reason: to mate. Therefore, when they look for the opposite sex specie, they search for qualities they would like their offspring to inherit. Characters such as strength, physical appearance, and survival instincts are on the top of the list. There is what is called the alpha male and the alpha female, which are the top male and female of the pack - and of society - species that have everything that anyone can wish for.

Humans are animals, therefore we belong to the Animal Kingdom - and these same rules apply to us. Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt will mate, soccer players pair up with models - they are alphas of our society, grade A. In real life though, we know that there is a range of males and females, not all can be alphas, otherwise they would not be unique - and not all of us have a six pack, are tall, tan, and make a million dollars a year. The way this theory applies to humans, is that we will look for specific qualities in the person we want to mate with, given that ultimately we will want to have offspring with that person. In our society, we not only go for the physical appearance, but we also go for the intellectual: is he/she smart? funny? witty? clever? aggressive? determined? Depending on what we consider valuable, we will a) choose to meet that person at the bar b) choose whether or not to go out on a dinner, date, propose, marry and so on. Given that not all humans are alpha, we will look for that person that will represent the best we can get and that will have what we consider important for our children, and find the best that can be reached depending of where we fall on the scale. Depending on how "good" you think of yourself, you will find someone who meets your level. This is the reason why, subconsciously, when we meet and we choose the person that we want to - meet at the bar, date, marry and have children with - will have what we think is important to transfer on to our next generation.

The number you thought of earlier, is the number you rate yourself on the scale from 1-10, 10 being the alpha specie - pure breed

In an experiment conducted, they asked 30 people to rate themselves, and then pair up with someone from the group - most couples that paired up had the same number.

My friends and I proved the theory. A couple rated themselves very similar: 7.5 and 7.8. However, one of them disagreed that he was the best she could get. She claimed that she could get someone "better" yet she had picked him (proving our theory, not hers). He, on  the other hand, claimed that at this point in time, she was the best he could get, and she had all the qualities that he would want in a woman for his children to inherit.

My ex-boyfriend and I did the test as well, we were fairly off, by .5. I agreed that we were in the same "range," reason why we dated. However, I wonder if that slight difference was what caused our relationship to break, because one of us thought we could get someone better, who would be the best we can "obtain". I also wonder if people break up on this basis: one is smarter than the other, one has more ambitions than the other, one is more good looking than the other. This is also why I believe that when we find our mate, it is a crucial ingredient that we will want to improve and get better for that other person. I believe that we want - and should - try and live up to that expectation of wanting to be the best that our partner thinks we can be, this way we will continue to excel in our personal improvement and will continue to add value to the relationships we are in.

For those who are single, do you think you would settle? or will you search until you find that person that will be the best you can be? and how do you know how good is your best - or how good do YOU rate yourself?

It is not about "settling" for someone in our range, it is about knowing who your are, knowing what you are worth, and wanting and finding the best we can get, which most times will not be The Alpha, but will be our alpha.

-D

The Happy Button

It is not about the things that happen to you, it is about how you decide to react to them.

Life should be about staying positive, surround yourself with positive people, have positive thoughts, think about the positive things that surround you at this particular moment in time. If all else fails, just hit that Happy Button, the one that will remind you to change your attitude and the way you view things, the one that will show you what is truly worth it in life.

Today I found myself pressing the Happy Button on more that one occasion! And I must say, I do not think my day would have been as successful had I not done it :). It is said that it is the law of attraction what affects what happens to us in life, it is "The Secret." This means that if you are miserable and constantly complaining about the things we do not have (which will happen to ALWAYS be there, no matter how much money we make, where we live - you get it) you will continue attracting these negative things. Whether as if we hit the button and change to happy thoughts, we will attract only positie energy that will bring us what our hearts truly desire.

Remember one thing, it does not matter whatever happens to us if we can't control it - focus on what you can control, which is the way you react to it.

And don't forget to hit that Happy Button =)

These are some of the reasons why I love to run

The best feeling is to not only release anything that may be bothering and occupying your thoughts, 

but also to observe nature's beauty, 

and God's way of reminding us that we are truly nothing compared to His Magnificence.

...Fortunately I carry my iPod or Android to capture these moments <3

"You want what you can't have"

They always say "you want what you can't have" ...is it the same when it comes down to relationships? 

When you walk down the street, you always want that job, those shoes, that car... but do we also want that man that does not give us the attention that we require? And for the men, is it true that you find more attractive the woman who does not cater to you as you are probably used to?

Many times times we call it The Game - we cannot call within a certain time period, or we should wait a couple of days before we meet again - or even at times, we do not want to have sex because it is too soon. But do we really believe these 'rules' of The Game, or are we just playing because society tells us?

I once tried to play The Game, only to find out that at the end you end up giving up - Game Over. He called, didn't call, too much too soon, or maybe nothing for too long. But it comes to a time where I have just been tired of  playing, and decide to go full frontal and do what my heart has told me to do - Romantic, yet silly and useless, as it has clearly failed. You see? when I say full on, I mean calling when I want, not when I should, answering and yearning for that date as I miss him and want him now. The problem with this is that (it seems to be) men take it as needy, or too demanding, or maybe even dare think that one does not have a life just because we (I) reflect my constant daydreaming through a text message, or a call, or whatever other reflection of love. 

So - why is it that the guy I did not like keeps calling, texting and continues to try and grab my attention? I think it may be because I do not show as much care and concern as I do for someone I like. Therefore, he chases me because he does not have me: proving the theory "You want what you can't have."

Based on previous experience, and in order to test the  theory, I decided to be in total control of my behavior with a guy I "partially" liked (if there is such a stage). When I called (or texted, as this is what most people are used to and I have happened to finally comply with) he would be nice - just nice. However, if and when I would purposely stop texting for a couple of days, the sweetest surprises awaited for me. The funny thing is that the same happened as we started going out on actual dates, they would all start with a "if you want to come to ____" and never an actual request for my presence. Once I started pulling back, the invitations were more what they are supposed to be: an invitation because HE wants me to come, not because it is convenient given time and space, or because I wanted to.

I find that this is great in theory, the bad part and what they dont tell you, is that when you are truly head over heels for him, the minutes seem hours, the days seem weeks, and the weeks, well if it is weeks before we hear back from him, there you might as well grow old, alone and start getting some cats. This is when it truly becomes a challenge to continue with your life (which you DO have!) even though he is constantly in your thoughts. 

I would have to agree with the theory, and it is not about The Game, but we tend to value everything that much more when we have to work for it - and as much as I am having to work for it, I want him to work for it too! So hold your horses, and download that one application that does not allow you to send more than one text in a period of 3 hours - and if all goes as planned, he will value your outbursts of emotion as much as we value theirs. 

Layers...

After writing my previous post, I got to thinking... How can we get through people's layers, and how do we identify them?

There are different types of layers, women tend to be bitchy, (too) funny, shy, slutty or simply quiet. Men tend to be douches, players, or comedians.

Here is my attempt to explain them:

The Bitch: Been there, done that - and I must say, it sis probably the easiest of all, given that you dont put up with bs from no one. As soon as there is something you dont like, or whenever you sense fear of getting close or being at the verge of actually allowing someone to see the true self, it is quite easy to come back with a comment where you clearly state that you value your privacy, self control and in actual control of the situation. The problem is that the bitch keeps everyone at distance, and no one truly gets to know and love the person for who she is.

Then there is the extra-super-overly funny girl: Being funny its clearly a skill that most times is innate - and something Im not too sure it can be taught - I have yet to see "how to become funny for dummies" book. A great skill, as it makes the person easy to be with, fun and relaxing even. But either way, I am sure we have all that friend, that has a great personality and can make anyone on the table laugh. But whats even more admirable is that not only she is funny, but also in times of crisis (for her) she is at her funniest! It is only when you truly know the person that you realize something may be wrong, and then the layers start to come off.

The Slut - No need for a definition of the term: I believe that this layer is the easiest to identify, and this is because at times we tend to confuse giving everything your body can have with giving everything your emotions can have. You see (mind you, this are my beliefs) we (women) tend to believe that if we have sex, the man will come closer to us - emotionally speaking - and needless to say, this hardly ever happens. Therefore, women tend to try and maintain a flame burning by having sex - just sex. Never opening up (not literally) to the possibility of having the other person get to know the true self. There is a difference between making love and having sex. You make love when both emotionally and physically (keyword emotion) you give yourself entirely to your lover (keyword: love). And it is that much better than sex.

For the guys my analysis is simpler,

The douchebags (see below for urbandictionary.com's definition) are just it. Never get any deeper than the bit of surface they reflect. I sometimes wonder if there is ANYTHING at all underneath the layers.
I have clearly met - even shamelessly - dated maybe one or two. They never open up to what is inside, on the contrary, they behave as 'douchebag' as possible to deflect any sort of emotion that may be at the core.

douchebag	2122 up, 582 down
	buy douche bag mugs, tshirts and magnets |a| - someone who;; talks shit, starts shit, wont finish their shit, &&and the end of the day still thinks they own the universe. closely related to;; asshole "god, he walks around and acts like hes the best thing in the world when really no one likes him. what a douche bag."

Then there is the one who pretends to be a comedian - by making fun of everyone around them, someone who is clearly hiding something. 

The player does not want to get serious at the fear of possibly being hurt (like most of us did at one point) so relationships always stay at a minimum. 

Then there is the people who always text message or chat - great way to keep things at a minimum and straight to the point. 

Mil cosas que decirte empiezan por la primera...

Una vez me lo describieron así: 

A veces somos como una cebolla - creamos capas que nos protegen de el mundo y sus adversidades. De la misma manera andamos por las calles, enfrentándonos al trabajo, los amigos, los llamados "amigos," al jefe, la pareja y a veces hasta tu familia - con capas que nos protegen y que esconden nuestra verdadera identidad, la esencia que nos hace únicos. 

Todavia batallo con la idea de soltar mis capas, se hace mucho mas fácil caminar, no con capas, sino con un metodo de defensa. Pero conocí a alguien con quien de repente mis capas fueron desapareciendo - sin importar mi esfuerzo para mantenerlas en alto. Alguien quien en un periodo de minutos ya había compartido algunas de las creencias (religion, sexualidad, fe, amor) que no le contamos a un desconocido. El sentimiento que tuve fue totalmente nuevo para mi, senti ganas de distanciar a esta persona, ya que así como uno no sale de su casa sin cartera, identificación, (o ropa!), yo no salgo sin mis capas. Resultó ser que decidi dejarlo entrar (no literalmente) y aventurarme  a lo que sucede cuando uno suelta sus capas, cosa que sólo ha ocurrido contadas las veces. 

Además de todo, llegue a pensar que el riesgo de 'soltar' mis capas en el cyberespacio es mucho menos riesgoso que salir sin capas, o sin ropa. Por esa razón, te doy la bienvenida a mi blog - sin capas, murallas o 'samurai,' en donde siento que tengo mil cosas que decirte, como una vez dije. 

Pienso que a veces el desahogarse, hablar o escribir tus pensamientos, ayuda a conocerse a si mismo - y aunque si me conoces sabes que no soy de monólogos, si sabes que me gusta hablar :) tambien tengo una opinion para todo, y nunca trato de aparentar lo que no soy... Lo contrario, a veces soy tan honesta que me meto en problemas - y lo malo es que hay palabras que no puedes borrar, y hay tiempos que no puedes retroceder. Ni rehacer.